


Two Kinds of Eternity

by TearsOfTime0086



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Diverges Canon After R2, Immortality, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 09:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18495892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearsOfTime0086/pseuds/TearsOfTime0086
Summary: Those with finite lives speak of "forever" with loose lips. Their minds and bodies cannot understand an existence with no end. The man known as Zero lingers in an unfathomable eternity, with centuries blending into a consciousness that holds so little.And one day, he receives a familiar visitor.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A scenario about Suzaku obtaining artificial immortality from his Geass. While Lelouch's Code prepares him for an unending life, Suzaku's human body is ill-prepared for the many years of wear and tear.
> 
> I can't guarantee fast updates, but I'll do my best! Any feedback would exponentially increase my motivation. Hope you enjoy!

He doesn’t receive many visitors anymore.

 

There was once a time where people would crowd around his meager living room, when the pacing of old men vibrated on his thatch mats for hours on end. But as the years went on and he forgot their names, they forgot him as well.

 

The world had little need for his justice.

 

He walks past a tree trunk, overgrown with mosses. They’re a frequent sight near his home, nestled between aging maple trees. He can still remember when this trunk was first alive- at least a little better than those political names. He drags a loose hand across the trunk, brushing the lichens with slim fingers. They’re moist- thriving for their brief presence in this world.

 

“Suzaku?”

 

Between the maple trees, there’s a lanky young man staring at him. His tight dress jacket and black cape is of a style from long ago. Surprisingly formal for a trek up these mountains.

 

“Are you lost, sir?” he starts, wiping his hand free from the moss.

 

The young man seems more discomforted by his concern. “Did you not hear me, Suzaku?” The repeated name is emphasized with clenched teeth.

 

“I think you might have the wrong person,” he tries to respond, hands subconsciously opening up in apology.

 

“No, you’re-“ The stranger abruptly stops himself, almost physically smoothing himself out. Despite his outburst, he seemed harmless enough. Too young to be here with any political purpose. He’d found his abode by chance- there were always one or two stragglers every century. A few directions and he’d be on his way-

 

“I need to talk to you, Zero.”

 

He blinks. So the young man did know his title. Had it come time for him to enter society once more?

 

“Come inside and tell me what’s going on. Although I don’t believe the world requires me at this moment…”

 

* * *

 

The stranger silently plants himself in a chair for the next five minutes.

 

He’s awfully quiet, Zero thinks to himself as he looks through dusty tea tins. But he doesn’t seem nervous at all. His feet are planted as if he owns the place. Zero decides on a still floral-scented black teabag. Does tea even expire? He hopes not, anyway.

 

“I must apologize for the meager refreshments. I haven’t had visitors for a while,” he decides to start, carrying a tray of biscuits and tea to the table. The visitor gazes at him with unblinking violet eyes. Tilts his jaw downward to scan his frame.

 

“The Wraith of the East,” the visitor murmurs to himself, pausing his gaze on Zero’s hands.

 

Pale lips draw into a smile. “That story might be why.”

 

“People speak of an undead ghost living in the mountains, with bleached skin and clouded dark eyes. On the night of the full moon, it steals away wandering townspeople…”

 

“Well, that’s a bit more exaggerated than what I’ve heard.” Zero doesn’t quite understand why, but there’s a familiar lilt in the visitor’s voice. A rhythm that he feels like he’s matched before. “Did the boy return home safely?” he asks, pulling up a chair. Any normal person wouldn’t be able to answer this question. Despite his faded sense of time, Zero still understood that the last boy to visit him had come many human lifetimes ago. He’d be dead by now, either way.

 

In fact, any normal person wouldn't know what he was talking about.

 

And yet he still asked.

 

The visitor once again looks directly at Zero. “He did. He lived a long, fruitful life. He was always grateful for the aid you gave him.”

 

Zero chuckles to himself, satisfied. “I see.”

 

“Does it not concern you that I know this boy? That I know exactly what happened to him?”

 

“I have seen many things. One more fantastical coincidence is nothing.”

 

The visitor squeezes his hand against the teacup. “Is this not strange enough for you?” The tone is off now. Stressed, slightly unnerved.

 

Zero shrugs.

 

“Is this what she meant?” the visitor mumbles to himself again. “It never should have been like this… not for this long…” The tea splashes on the rims of the cup.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

The visitor bolts out of the chair, leaving the cup to totter precariously. “Do you not recognize me? I understand why you might’ve forgotten your name, but-”

 

Zero remains sitting, but raises an eyebrow in response. “Are you alright, sir?”

 

“It’s _me _,__ Suzaku! Lelouch! The damn fool who got you into this mess! The one who ought to be dead!” The violent energy in the visitor’s eyes flares even higher.

 

He blinks. Slowly shakes his head in confusion.

 

With each shake, the stranger slowly slumps back into the chair. Tense hands unfold and cover his face. His words are barely above a whisper.

 

“Not like this. I didn’t want you to live like this…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'd just like to thank the 50+ people who gave this fic a chance! I hope this next chapter is enjoyable~

His mistakes haunt him across lifetimes, it seems. 

 

He first heard of Suzaku’s situation through C.C., after one of her lonely hunts for pizza. She came back to their temporary abode, dropped a still-hot pizza box on the table, and asked him with a mouth stuffed with cheese:

 

“Do you know what Suzaku’s been up to lately?”

 

He fumbled a move on his chessboard. “Why the sudden question?”

 

“I asked first.”

 

"We checked on him recently. He’s living in the deep country of Japan, up in the mountains-”

 

“Alright,” C.C. cut him off, to his minor annoyance. “And what color were his eyes?”

 

Lelouch raised an eyebrow at the use of past tense. “Green.”

 

“So not ‘dark and sunken’.”

 

He stood up from the table, causing several pieces to tip. “Have you seen him?”

 

“I just heard a rumor about the old village. I can’t confirm it’s him, but there aren’t many others who’ve dwelled in the forest for years.”

 

As C.C. described the story of the village wraith, Lelouch’s heart sunk to levels not felt since his resurrection. While there wasn’t enough in the myth to conclude anything, it was clear that Suzaku wasn’t well. Perhaps even deathly ill, based off of the ghoulish descriptions. Tales of a pale white shadow, the lost ghost of a hero forgotten by his people-

 

But something didn’t add up.

 

“Suzaku wouldn’t have let this happen to him,” he muttered to himself, half in argument, half in denial. “If something happened, he would’ve found you and me, or even Jeremiah-” 

 

C.C. pulled another slice out of the box. “Would he?”

 

Lelouch stopped immediately. “I suppose you think otherwise.” 

 

“Our immortality, along with that of other Code bearers, has been documented clearly over the ages. You’ve seen it firsthand.”

 

“Yet Suzaku is alive by Geass alone… which we know nothing about.”

 

“Glad to see you’re still following me,” C.C. smirked, but her gaze at her pepperoni slice was more pensive this time. “It might finally be time to make a visit.”

 

The singular chess piece on the floor was the black queen, which Lelouch promptly picked up. With a hint of nostalgia, he slid it next to the knight.

 

“Are you worried about this? Perhaps regretful?”

 

“If I started regretting my actions, I should’ve died long ago,” he affirmed, playing his next move on the board. Chess by oneself wasn’t quite as exciting, but it gave him leeway for mishaps. As in real life. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t give my all to fix this.”

 

“Which I assume means you’re going off on your own again,” C.C. sighed, “You’ll find something you didn’t expect, be surprised, and then gripe about it to me for a couple days.”

 

He scoffed at this.

 

“Please, C.C. We’ve taken care of incidents like this before. I’m better than that.”

  

* * *

 

Apparently, he was not better than that.

 

Lelouch realizes this five seconds too late, just as his thoughts trickle out of his cupped hands. He thought he was prepared for the worst- creating strategy after strategy as he climbed the dense forest. If Suzaku really was unwell, he thought, a physical altercation would come sooner or later.

 

Instead, he was met with a look of sympathy. A young man speaking purely out of concern.

 

A Suzaku that didn’t recognize him.

 

The myths had grossly exaggerated his appearance, but Lelouch could still sense something was off from their initial conversation alone. Long, white robes covered pale skin stretched against Suzaku’s muscular frame. The “dark” eyes were of a muddled hue, the bright red rings of Geass now blurring into green irises.

 

“Are you lost, sir?”

 

No, physical appearance wasn’t the issue. Lelouch’s mind kept recalling Suzaku’s innocent question, asked without a hint of recognition as to who he was. And when he didn’t know his own name…

 

He had been wrong. So, so, wrong.

 

Despite his confusion, his trained eyes and ears had managed to pick up a few more oddities about Suzaku. There was a slight new accent in the way he spoke. He almost ripped open a teabag before realizing how to properly use it. He went off on tangents, asking impromptu questions.

 

Lelouch then proceeded to ask some illogical questions of his own, and facepalmed immediately afterwards. And now here he was.

 

Utterly dumbfounded.

 

He hasn’t felt this helpless in a while. Hasn’t felt this lost, in front of a friend who he used to read like a book.

 

“Do you need to lie down a bit?” Suzaku asks, soft concern quickly overriding his confusion. Lelouch couldn’t say the same for himself.

 

“Sorry. If I could just gather my thoughts…” he grits, looking away from the outstretched hand in front of him. “I spoke out of turn.”

 

Suzaku blows out a puff of air. The same action he’d take in frustration centuries before. Identical, yet used differently. “I might be overstepping my boundaries, but you seem troubled. Would you like to talk about it? I’m not the best at conversations, but it might help to get it out.”

 

It was never Suzaku in this role. The calm one, the one willing to take a step back and view things again. And while this would be a pleasant improvement in any other context, it was so perturbing that Lelouch couldn’t view it like that.

 

“Suzaku…”

 

“Zero,” he gently corrects. It stabs him, a little. Lelouch only nods in acknowledgement.

 

“I’d… like to sort some things out with you. Ask questions. Answer a few in turn.” Ideally get some answers. Find the explanation as to why Suzaku was now like this. Get Suzaku to see him as the man he truly was.

 

But those were wishful thoughts, so he omitted them.

 

“I’d be glad to.”       

 

Lelouch takes a deep breath, the first step into a problem he was now solving blind. 

 

“My name is Lelouch. I am like you, Zero.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always terrible with formatting and mistakes, so I'll likely be editing this work a few times as I comb through it. Comments are always greatly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

“Like me?”

 

The man named Lelouch nods. The glint in his eyes is stable once again. The arch of his spine is straight, yet natural. Thriving in rigidity.

 

“I can no longer die by conventional means. I assume you cannot either.”

 

“You assume correctly,” Zero replies, taking a seat across the table.

 

"I have been traveling with a woman of similar circumstances. I thought we were the only two in this predicament.” Lelouch smirks to himself, emotions concealed under clenched teeth. “Yet the world is full of fantastical coincidences. I don’t suppose any of this seems familiar to you?”

 

“Not at all, unfortunately. Information doesn’t travel this far, and I almost never leave my home.” He casually nibbles on a biscuit, noticing how Lelouch follows his every move. “I’m not the best at remembering things either.”

 

“How so?”

 

“It’s difficult to answer that question,” he murmurs, brushing crumbs off of his robe sleeve, “I mean, I’m pretty sure I was never the sharpest tool in the box. But it’s hard to explain.”

 

“Any attempt at describing it would be appreciated.”

 

“It’s… all in comparison, I guess. I’ll have visitors every so often, and they seem to expect things that I can never remember. To be honest, I can hardly remember their visits at all.”

 

“Does it trouble you?”

 

“Trouble? No, of course not. As long as I can fulfill my duty, I’m content.”

 

“Your duty as Zero, eternal ally of justice…”

 

“You seem to know quite a lot about me,” he laughs. “But yes. I exist to be that role. Everything else is irrelevant.”

 

“Even if someone from your past had appeared again? Someone who may have had misunderstandings with you?”

 

“As long as I can perform my duty, that is enough.”

 

“I… see.” For a second, Zero sees an uncomfortable squirm, a flash of emotion in those steely eyes. It reverts back immediately. “I’m sorry, I’ve been asking the brunt of the questions. If there’s anything you would like to ask of me, I’ll do my best to answer.”

 

“I just think this situation is fascinating. I don’t have too much to ask.”

 

“Nothing at all?”

 

“Well, maybe tell me about your purpose… Lelouch, was it?”

 

A curt nod. “To tell the truth, my present existence is purely an accident. I should have died long ago. I’m a bit of a wanderer now.”

 

“Surely you must have something special. Something only you can do.”

 

“I do,” Lelouch sighs, perhaps in lament, “But time and time again it seems my interventions are tied to unpredicted consequences. I try not to go beyond my sphere of influence anymore.” Still deep in thought, he rubs his neck in shame. “All in retrospect, of course.”

 

Zero’s not paying attention to his words, though.

 

“You used to tug at the front.”

 

Lelouch stiffens, once loose hand now clenching skin. “Excuse me?”

 

Zero blinks. “I… I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from. That wasn’t relevant to the conversation at all.”

 

“Do you remember why you said that? Did anything come to you?” His voice is abruptly softer as he leans against the table. The distance between the two decreases ever so minutely, but his presence is enormous.

 

“What did I… no. I’m sorry, I don’t. I haven’t talked with anyone in a while, so I must have-”

 

Lelouch cuts him off with a wave. “Please don’t apologize. It was my mistake to press you about such a small thing. It’s really nothing important.”

 

“You seem much more versed in these kinds of things.”

 

“Hm?” Of course, he was been too sporadic again. It’d been an issue with his last visitor, too. He could never follow the flow of a conversation. Always a question away from the topic at hand. Always interpreting someone’s words wrong.

 

“Speaking,” he manages to clarify, “Do you get a lot of practice?”

 

He seems a bit dumbfounded at this question. “Well, I’ve been traveling with someone. We converse frequently.”

 

“Ah, that woman you were talking about earlier,” he recalls successfully. “I have a favor to ask, then.”

 

“Go ahead.”

 

“It’s getting dark outside, so you’ll need to leave while you can find the path down to the village. But please visit again. Seeing people is always a treat, and I could use the help in talking. As you can clearly see from today.”

 

“None of that was your fault,” Lelouch says. The brusque seriousness is then covered by a small smile. “But I will come back for as long as you let me.”

 

Zero returns it with a smile of his own.

 

“I’d appreciate that. A lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Now that finals are over, I should be able to update more frequently. The story right now might be a little confusing- I'll try to clarify if any questions arise. One thing for sure is that I'm not following re:surrection, but some things might be inspired off of it. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading and have a good day!


	4. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to some events prior... I hope it's not too disruptive to the narrative flow
> 
> Thank you so so much to everyone who's interacted with this fic! I never thought that I'd get so many people reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy.

_Several decades ago…_

 

Suzaku stands alone in the imperial throne room, back turned to the door. The moonlight casts grey light across his Zero uniform, streaking across his helmet and to the floor.

 

“So you come back now. Here to mop up the problems that we couldn’t fix. To create your clean slate for the next game.”

 

Lelouch shifts his weight to his other leg. Keeps his face as composed as always, despite knowing Suzaku can’t see him. “I no longer have a right to meddle in this world’s affairs.”

 

“And yet you’re still here!” Suzaku seethes, turning with such fury that his boots screech against the floor. His Zero suit is stretched tight by arching shoulders. The mask hides his face, but Lelouch can almost see Suzaku’s scowl imprinted in its reflection.

 

“I will assist in fending off the invasion, and that is all.”

 

“Don’t you see that’s not the point?” Suzaku walks down from the dais, each step echoing with frustration. “I _believed_ you. I believed that you were dead, even told Nunnally that she shouldn’t wish for you to come home-”

 

“Nunnally knew why I couldn’t visit.” _She had to,_ he says to himself _._ There were rules. If he had come back after escaping death…

 

“She wanted to see you, Lelouch. Just once. She _knew_ you were out there, as much as I tried to convince her otherwise. Didn’t you say this was all for her?”

 

The emotion finally leaks. “You know I couldn’t! I was supposed to be dead, Suzaku! I can’t just come back-”

 

“Like you’re doing now? You left Nunnally to die without her beloved brother, and return years later to-”

 

“Because she was safe with you! She lived a happy life! But now the world she loved is in danger. You were almost killed-”

 

A sharp breath interrupts him. For a second, Suzaku’s anger loses a focal point, and his hand wanders to his head before coming back down. “I see,” he says, in a much quieter voice, “I understand it now.”

 

“Suzaku?”

 

“Let’s make a deal then, Lelouch.” The steady voice is more unsettling than his anger. His rigid posture more unnerving than his duress. “Give me one month to stop the invasion. If I cannot end it by then, you have free rein to intervene. If I can, however, you have no reason to be here. And you will never cross my sight again.”

 

“What is this all about, Suzaku-”

 

“I am Zero, the knight of justice and truth. I will serve this world as its sword. This will be proof of my ability to do so.”

 

His own words, reflected back at him. A warped version of his old friend, speaking from his mask.

 

“Is that not we agreed on for Zero Requiem? That your life would end, and my punishment would begin?”

 

Lelouch can only nod.

 

“You have come back because I was unable to fulfill my duty. This will not happen again. You have done your part. I need to do mine.”

 

“Suzaku, I-”

 

“Do you accept?” He interrupts. Lelouch can’t read him at all. There’s no flaw he can argue here, no argument he can make. And, he wonders in the back of his head, if he even has the right to protest.

 

“I do, for now,” he scowls.

 

“Then leave,” Suzaku commands, no trace of his voice heard beyond the helmet’s voice changer, “And I will pray we never need to meet again.” With that, his body hardens. He turns back around to the window, the cape gently swaying to a halt. Any attempts to talk meet a stone-cold silence. No further mention of Nunnally. No anger at betraying his trust. Nothing.

 

Lelouch leaves with a sinking feeling in his stomach. The rational part of him deems that Suzaku’s logic is correct - his story has reached an end. It would be foolish to act beyond it.

 

A smaller part wishes he will be summoned before the end of the month.

 

* * *

 

It takes three weeks.

 

Lelouch watches his every move. Watches the inhuman speed at which Suzaku takes down the Zilkistan forces. Watches Zero cut down soldier after soldier with ease.

 

With the rumors of Zero suddenly being demonstrated in reality, enemy morale is lost. Their leader rallies for a final stand, but she meets a mysterious end. Both he and C.C. do not understand the outcome completely. But Lelouch does not pry.

 

The war is over. Won by the power of Zero alone.

 

The Suzaku from last month looks completely different from the one now. While his speed and strength were unrivaled even before, there’s a new intensity to them that seems almost unnatural. Suzaku always put in his full effort into everything, so he wracks his brain over what could have changed. There are so many questions he’d like to ask. Why he didn’t take the mask off in front of him. Why he stopped talking about Nunnally that fateful day. What answers he had to questions Lelouch still struggled over.

 

But true to his word, Lelouch does not meet him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'll give a warning for potential edits after posting this chapter. Thanks for reading :)


	5. Chapter 4

_Present day_

 

“So how bad was it?”

 

C.C. starts off with a jibe, but his expression must be enough to tell her what she needs.

 

“He met me this time. No arguments, no fight… nothing.” He half-slams himself into his chair, shoving a hand into ruffled hair. “He doesn’t remember anything.”

 

“Like what happened to me, or what happened to you?”

 

Lelouch scoffs. “It seems this is a trend among us. But no. I don’t think there’s any purposeful memory loss involved.”

 

“Hm.”

 

“His entire existence seems to revolve around being Zero. As if he’s pushed everything else away for it. He’s fully embraced his role. Like he promised.” Lelouch half-breathes out the last sentence, fingers twitching in overtime.

 

“You seem concerned about that.”

 

“Concerned?” He stops his moving hands immediately. “No. That’s not the issue here. We agreed on all of that- the means to this end is the only surprising part.”

 

C.C. merely looks at him. Lays back down on her bed.

 

“His memory has deteriorated drastically, to the point where I can’t attribute all of it to conscious decision alone. His physical condition is suffering as well. His body looked overexerted. Strange, because he hasn’t been fighting…”

 

He stops himself. Glances at C.C., who already smiles at him knowingly.

 

“Alright. I am concerned about this. Lying to myself isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

 

“You’ve gotten better at recognizing it early.”

 

“And yet I can never stop it. Years upon years of this, and I’m still burdened by denial…”

 

C.C. shrugs. “It’s not the worst thing to have connections with others. The fact that you’ve managed to remember him after all this time could be a sign of strength.”

 

“There are two ways to think about it,” he smirks back, but his mind is already returning to its former subject. He idly scans their abode - a large penthouse with immaculate detail in every inch of its décor. When C.C. and he’d traveled together, they’d learned to find comfort where they could. Here, away from the countless conflicts and encounters with Geass, they could relax. Find some semblance of peace.

 

It never lasted long.

 

“So what’s your plan now, Lelouch? As far as I can tell, your deal with Suzaku still holds.”

 

“He actually… invited me back.”

 

C.C. laughs a little. “And you were worried he’d kill you.”

 

“He has good reason to,” he mumbles back. “I’ll visit as long as he keeps allowing me there. I’m not sure I’m in the position to intervene, but someone needs to watch this situation. We don’t know anything about what’s going on - and I suspect Suzaku doesn’t either.”

 

“And if he does find out you broke your promise?” C.C.’s much more serious this time, expressionless eyes gazing into his own. “If your ‘watching’ goes too far?”

 

He tries to smile, but he can feel his lip tremble. “Knowing me, it’s not a matter of if, but when. And when that time comes, I will pay my debt in full. That is all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> So I kind of lied last chapter about quick updates... turns out research is more taxing than I thought. I apologize to everyone for that- but thank you for continuing to read and interact with this story!
> 
> To the anonymous commenter, I thank you for your comment! I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, but seeing nothing new has happened, I'll keep it private for now.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this little scene and I'll hopefully be back soon.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I apologize that it's been a while since the last update. Thank you for continuing to read and support this fic - every hit makes me so excited! I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

 “Oh, welcome back! It’s nice to see you again…”

 

Suzaku’s voice is unexpectedly chirpy, but it flounders towards the end of his sentence.

 

“Lelouch,” he says promptly. It’s the right answer.

 

“I was about to say that.” Suzaku replies petulantly, but his wandering eyes say otherwise. He straightens himself quickly afterwards. “Please, come in! I hope the way up here wasn’t too troublesome.”

 

“Oh, it was fine,” Lelouch lies, his knees aching in protest. “It looks like you’ve been doing well.”

 

“I have been! Just cleaning up a bit before you arrived.” He scans over Lelouch. “Are you sure you’re good? You’re breathing hard.”

 

“Just give me a place to sit and I’ll-” His statement is cut off as his body half-dives into the sofa. His throbbing legs finally loosen, and he lets out a soft sigh of satisfaction.

 

“You don’t seem like the athletic type,” Suzaku teases, taking a seat across from him.

 

“Never was, never will be.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure with a little training…”

 

“Many have tried before you. It’s been a fruitless effort each time.”

 

Suzaku laughs. “Alright, alright. Perhaps you’re destined to be like this. It’ll be a pain for you to keep coming up here then.” The laughter dies down, and the gaze on him becomes gentler. “Thank you for doing this. I’d travel myself but…”

 

His voice diminishes to a murmur. The casual eye contact is broken as Suzaku twists a loose string on the seat.

 

“I couldn’t decline an invitation to return. But what’s your reason for not leaving this place?”

 

“I do not belong down there. Their world is separate from mine.”

 

“Last time I checked, we all live on a singular Earth,” he scoffs, though not unkindly.

 

Suzaku takes it in good humor. “Indeed. Yet someone like me would clearly stand out in a town square.” He traces a leisurely hand over his cheek. Pale skin starts to reveal cracks tracing deep into flesh. “I don’t look normal. And I don’t have the conversational skills to back it up. Even people who purposely visited were intimidated by me. Imagine a complete stranger’s reaction.”

 

“I could solve all of that,” Lelouch whispers. “If you would like.”

 

The hand stops mid-motion. Falls back down onto Suzaku’s lap. There’s a moment of silence - only broken by Suzaku’s laugh.

 

“You would need to work a few miracles for that,” he says. Lelouch feels a shiver go up his spine.

 

_man of miracles that will never die_

“Ah yes. Miracles,” he mutters, unable to keep the bitterness from leaking into his voice. He’s done it again. Trapped himself in the grand desires that he always fulfills, one way or another. His monkey’s paw, demanding its payment in blood.

 

He changes the world, and destroys his reason for it.

 

“Lelouch…” Suzaku says after a hesitant pause. His eyes question openly, while his mouth struggles with the words.

 

“Ah,” he replies, somewhat snapping back to reality. “A personal concern. Nothing for you to worry about.” His attempt at a short laugh ends up being more like a wheeze. “I shouldn’t even be thinking about it here. Terrible etiquette on my part.”

 

Suzaku’s confusion manifests in an eyebrow lift. It’s better this way. His demons would never be tamed by others- not when it was a burden he put on himself in the first place.

 

“Do you always serve these biscuits to your guests?” A change of subject is sorely needed, and the snack tray on the coffee table ends up being next. “I remember we had them last time.”

 

“I do,” Suzaku thankfully answers, dropping any pretense of their previous topic. “I still have a ton of them stored.”

 

Lelouch takes one from the tray. It’s decently sweet, but crumbles quickly. Storage technologies worked miracles in the present day, but the taste of lost time is inescapable. “I’d think that you’d have eaten through a lot of your supplies - or perhaps you get it restocked often?”

 

“Oh. I don’t eat.”

 

Lelouch almost chokes on a mouthful of biscuit. “Excuse me?”

 

“I don’t need food to sustain myself. Surely you don’t either?”

 

This was true - a quirk of immortality he’d realized after his first desert trek. Nothing in his existence could be considered a _necessity._ He could sleep, but he didn’t need to. His muscles would flare from exercise, but they’d never collapse on him. His mortal existence had trained his brain to react to these scenarios of exhaustion - except his body would never reach that point.

 

Then again, C.C. craved pizza for a reason.

 

“Well, you’re right…” he starts off, “But it… still feels nice, you know?” God, his rationale was so pathetic. But what other way was there to convince someone of the most primal sense?

 

Suzaku blinks. “I don’t think I know,” he answers literally, gesturing to the biscuits. “I don’t feel anything when eating these.”

 

“This wouldn’t do it. These biscuits are far inferior to anything home-baked. A sweet pastry, or even a warm loaf of bread…”

 

Suzaku’s lack of reaction stops him. In their childhood, he had always bragged about eating the best meat at the Kururugi household, how Britannia’s pathetic recipes could not compare to the richness of his cuisine. His blank look stings more than any violent or stubborn response.

 

Well, if he couldn’t describe the power of taste, Lelouch would have to create it.

 

“Do you have any yeast stored, perhaps?”

 

“I have a lot of things…”

 

“Perfect.” Lelouch stands up, almost ignoring his aching knees this time. He strides into the open kitchen, getting to the counter before Suzaku interjects.

 

“Wait! I don’t understand how you got to this?”

 

“None of this should make any sense,” he responds, rolling up his sleeves. “Most of it was thought up on the spot.” There’s a large door bolted with an electronic panel- likely the storage room.

 

“Let me try that again… what in the world are you doing?”

 

His hand hovers over the panel. “Ah. That was your question.” There was once a time where the two of them would just act and _know_ \- when no words would be required for synchronicity. He’d fallen back into that cycle again.

 

“I’m going to bake some bread.”

 

“Bread?”

 

He turns back towards Suzaku. His expression of confusion has been consistent for the past five minutes. Almost enough to make Lelouch forget he’d hardened his spirit to become Zero.

 

“I… think it would be good to show you the merits of food,” he starts, confidence waning by the second. He thinks back for a moment, and wonders if the synchronization he’d believed in was more imagined than real. If this utter confusion at his actions was always there, but concealed under both of their masks. “It’s not necessary, of course. But people experience a lot of unnecessary things too. A conversation won’t keep you alive. A rich meal isn’t required. But they still are things people do. You don’t need it, but it feels nice.”

 

“I’ve been a little rash in my actions today,” he continues, pulling his sleeves back down again. “I didn’t mean anything with ill intent, I promise. But I’ve been shamefully self-absorbed.” He realizes his hands are still hovering near the control panel, and laughs scornfully. “I’m intruding into your storage room without permission, too. How rude.”

 

“I don’t think you’re being self-absorbed.”

 

Suzaku’s singular sentence is blunt enough to snap Lelouch out of his mumbling.

 

“I mean, I’m not the best judge of interactions, but you’re trying to help show me something, right? You’re thinking a few steps ahead by yourself, that’s all.”

 

“Suzaku…”

 

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that,” he muses, “I’m not quite sure where you got that name.” A quiet smile traces itself on his face. “But I bet it’s another thing you’re thinking ahead about.”

 

It’s almost as relieving as it is painful to have Suzaku’s trust.

 

Lelouch debates internally over a dozen ways to respond- none of them are particularly good. So he swallows and lets himself improvise. “I think you’re right. But I still feel that I could improve a lot on my actions today - and start by asking if you’d be alright with this.”

 

 _This_ is a bit nebulous- it encompasses the baking, the name, and a lot of other things Lelouch isn’t quite able to verbalize. But Suzaku just nods openly to all of it.

 

“It’ll be something new for me. I’m curious to see what exactly you’re so excited about.”

 

Lelouch cracks a small grin. “I promise it’ll be worth it. My baking skills are second to none. It’ll be the start of teaching you about how people ‘down there’ live.”

 

“Sounds good to me.”

 

“I’ll just check that you have all of the right supplies, and then set up for tomorrow…”

 

“Tomorrow? This will take more than one day?”

 

“Yes. The yeast has to ferment for at least twelve hours. It might be better to go even longer- but it depends on our ingredient ratios.”

 

“And explain to the slow one why it needs that much time?” Suzaku jokes. It’s enough to draw out a smile from him.

 

“You see, cooking is all about the proper measurements…”

 

* * *

 

“You’re going back tomorrow… to finish baking bread?”

 

“Yes. I promise there’s a story behind that. You make it sound so silly out of context.”

 

“You’re making extremely fast developments considering Suzaku doesn’t remember you.”

 

“D-developments? What are you-”

 

“Hmm. Just make sure to bring back some for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time of posting this chapter is pretty late, so expect some minor edits when I comb through again tomorrow morning.
> 
> Thanks for reading- and I hope some of you stick around for some baking next chapter :)


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